man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
