He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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