apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
