Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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