did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize