If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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