____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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