Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize