i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
