hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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