you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize