The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so explain again why im purple
no
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
