my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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