The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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