I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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