I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
