I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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