Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
