Why does Corona taste like a burp?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
