great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
