And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He did a backflip because drugs
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
