She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
