First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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