butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
