she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
