remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
