how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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