dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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