yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
