I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
