Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
