is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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