brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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