i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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