What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
