You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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