Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
