i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
