i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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