Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
