OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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