I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he thought i was a dude.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
