Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
party gras won. party gras always wins.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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