whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
