Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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