Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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