I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
