Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
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can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
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