OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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