so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my phone needs a breathalizer
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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