I'm really into asian looking animals
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
