I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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