don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
