did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
