lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
