I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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