Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
