She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize