two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
