no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
