Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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