you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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