another moral hangover. fuck.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
