East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
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