i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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