I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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