Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
