we have pet lesbian snakes
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
