tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
