What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
